Olympus has Fallen

olympus fallen

Director: Antoine Fuqua

Writer: Creighton Rothenberger, Katrin Benedikt

Starring: Gerard Butler, Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman, Rick Yune, Dylan McDermott

Tomatometer: 49/41/79 (all critics, top critics, audience)

Spoiler-free Summary: Leonidas is a Secret Service superstar.  One Christmas Eve, he elects to save the President’s life, instead of letting him die.  The President gets pissed, subsequently throwing Leonidas off his detail.  Eighteen months later, with tensions rising along the North/South Korean border, the South Korean Prime Minister visits the White House, a.k.a. Olympus.  Things don’t turn out quite as planned, and Olympus falls into the hands of a terrorist.  Leonidas fills in for John McClane, who was filming something else.

Two Cents: 2013 is starting to look like 1998, 2006, and a host of other years.  You know, those years when Hollywood collectively decides XYZ is the hot, new thing, subsequently multiple movies about the ame thing.  In 1998, we watched Earth get destroyed by a giant space rock in Deep Impact, only to see mankind (except for John McClane, of all people) narrowly avoid a similar space rock-induced disaster in Armageddon less than two months later.  Similarly, in 2006, we were mesmerized by The Illusionist, the first magician-gone-bad movie in quite some time, just two months before its doppelganger, The Prestige, magically appeared at a theater near you.  With that same unbridled creativity, we welcome Olympus has Fallen, the appetizer to the main course that is White House Down.  In most cases like these, the first course is satisfactory, but inferior to the second.  (No Strings Attached (1/11) vs. Friends with Benefits (7/11)?  I rest my case.  [Fun Fact: Justin Timberlake starred {though, with his acting skills, I should probably use a different word} in FwB, but only after recording an album titled No Strings Attached with N*Sync.])  While Olympus is certainly a satisfactory action film, we’ll have to wait until June 28th to see if it can break the curse of the first-born.

Gerard Butler is a man’s man.  Sure, he plays soccer with Jessica Biel once in a while, but who wouldn’t?  Butler kicks some serious behind in this movie, but he’s a good enough actor to be taken seriously, even when the story takes a hard left toward ridiculousness.  He’s got emotion and charisma; he’s not just a The Rock with a gun, as is often the case with action stars.  Of course, this movie is about one thing – action – but Butler does a good job of keeping the viewer invested in the story, while none of the other actors/characters do much of anything.

As President Asher, Aaron Eckhart is lifeless.  As Secret Service Director Lynn Jacobs, Angela Bassett completely loses Stella’s groove.  As Agent Forbes, Dylan McDermott makes the closing argument in the case for TV stars to stick with TV.  Melissa Leo is unrecognizable as the Secretary of Defense (she won an Oscar, for crying out loud!).

During the third act, the movie actually becomes comical, ending with one of the worst closing one-liners of all time (possibly on par with the closing one-liner in Vantage Point).   Of course, I may be a bit biased here, since I once wrote a screenplay about the White House being taken over by terrorists, but at least mine was a comedy; I was willing to acknowledge the fact that the whole premise is a joke.  However, Fuqua does a good job of keeping the action going throughout the film, making the weak plot more than bearable.  Of course, that’s just putting a Bandaid on a cracked skull, but it’s a common practice (For example, this morning, on a Delta flight, I saw a man ask the flight attendant for “one of those seatbelt thing”.  A moment later, the flight attendant brought over a seatbelt extender, an extra strap and buckle to be attached to the man’s existing seatbelt, because he couldn’t fit it around his stomach.), so, I’ll give him a pass.  Furthermore, the entire film takes place in The White House, one of the most interesting buildings in the world.  I did a boatload of research about 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue for my screenplay, but I still learned a bunch of cool facts from Fuqua’s film (assuming most of the “facts” are, indeed, facts and not, simply, “facts”).

By the way, I’m 98% certain that this conversation took place a few years ago:

Film Producer #1: We’re making a movie about a crisis in the White House.

Film Producer #2: We should get Morgan Freeman to play the president during a crisis.  He’s done it a million times!

Film Producer #1: We totally should.  But, is it too obvious?

Film Producer #2: I know!  Let’s pull a fast one on everyone and NOT make Morgan the president.  Instead, we’ll make him the Speaker of the House, and people will be like, “What?  You guys are geniuses!  I never saw that coming!”.  Then, five seconds into the movie, he’ll become the ACTING president!

Film Producer #1: Let’s give ourselves a raise.

Should I/Shouldn’t I: I think there’s a Constitutional amendment that makes it mandatory for Americans to see action movies involving the President of the United States.  If that’s the case, you could do worse than spend two hours in a theater with Olympus.  Although he’s chosen some mediocre material this time around, and pinched a few pennies on the special effects, Fuqua is a supremely talented director (he helped Denzel win an Oscar for Training Day) working with a usually-stellar cast.  The final product is not nearly as great as the sum of its parts, but you will be entertained by Olympus‘s action sequences, the terrorists’ intricate coup, and Butler’s ability to not suck when so much around him is sucking.

Sundae Rating: Two scoops

A Good Day to Die Hard

die hard

Director: John Moore

Writer: Skip Woods

Starring: Bruce Willis, Jai Courtney, Sebastian Koch

Tomatometer: 16/10/82 (all critics, top critics, audience)

Spoiler-free Summary: Everyone’s favorite NYPD officer, John McClane, heads to Russia in search of his estranged son Jack, who has gotten into some trouble with the law.  Somehow, Jack has become the key witness in a trial that pits a merciless politician against a disgraced billionaire.  Needless to say, John gets caught in the middle, and explosions ensue.

Two Cents: The dialogue is terrible, the plot has more holes than the O-zone, and the acting is on par with most junior high productions of Cats.  But, it sure is fun to watch stuff blow up!  The movie is short, and a lot of the action is imaginative and exciting.  You can’t go wrong with a little John McClane on a cold winter day.  Don’t worry about learning the names of the other actors, this movie is like a Springsteen concert – it’s all about BRUUUUUUUUCE.  There’s no real connection to the other films in the series, but that’s to be expected (continue reading to find out why).

Over the past decade or so, the most common question leaking from moviegoers’ lips is some form of “Why don’t they make anything new, anymore?”.  As a movie fan, I, too, am upset by the lack of cinematic innovation flowing from Southern California.  Still, I can’t blame Hollywood for leading the Reduce, Reuse, Recycle movement.  Allow me to explain.

Picture yourself in an ice cream store.  There are two flavors available – vanilla and Super Fudge Celery Peanut Salmon Crunch.  What flavor is everyone ordering?  Unless you’ve recently experienced debilitating head trauma, you know everyone is getting vanilla.  Super Fudge Celery Peanut Salmon Crunch may be the best ice cream ever invented, but it’s going to take a lot more than a tiny spoon to convince people to try it.  Now, look at it from the scooper’s side.  He’s spent days, if not months, perfecting his new, delicious flavor of ice cream.  He’s also spent money on all of the premium ingredients that make up the final product.  Now, he needs to convince everyone who walks into his store to try the new flavor.  He scoops out thousands of baby spoonfuls, losing money each time.  Then, only a fraction of the people who taste the new flavor are willing to make a loving commitment to an entire cup or cone of Super Fudge Celery Peanut Salmon Crunch.  Can you blame them?  When you offer vanilla, it’s comforting to people.  They no what to expect, and only the worst version of vanilla would truly upset them.

Now, consider Hollywood’s state of mind.  A large movie studio – let’s use Universal – wants to produce a film.  Universal can pay a couple million dollars for a hot, new script that’s been floating around the agencies, or pay a no-name writer a few hundred thousand bucks to pen a screenplay based on existing content.  The writer already has an advantage, because he doesn’t need to introduce us to the main characters.  He can just jump right into the action.  That gets people in and out of the theater more quickly, which means more showtimes.  When it’s time to cast the movie, the work is already done. Universal has at least one star in place (thanks to contracts that lock actors in for all potential installments in a series), and often, a whole slew (e.g., the Ocean’s 11 and the Pirates of the Caribbean series), so, they don’t need to bring in any other movie stars, or a big-name director.  Then, when it’s time to market the movie, Universal can slap one catchphrase on a million billboards, and people will get the message (Yippe ki-yay…).  Plus, once they post a teaser trailer on YouTube, it is sure to go viral within minutes.  I could go on and on, but you get the point.  Universal can save millions of dollars on production and advertising, and bank on selling millions of tickets to fans of previous installments in the series.  No risk, high reward (especially if you shoot in 3-D).

Should I/Shouldn’t I: If you love action on the big screen, see this one in the theater.  It’s short, and the good stuff starts right away and never lets up.  If you’re looking for a good movie, you’re better off watching the original Die Hard a few dozen times.

Sundae Rating: One scoop of Super Fudge Celery Peanut Salmon Crunch (two scoops if you’re an action junkie)