Elysium

elysium

Director: Neill Blomkamp

Writer: Neill Blomkamp

Starring:  Matt Damon, Jodie Foster, Sharlto Copley

Tomatometer: 66/67/70 (all critics, top critics, audience)

Spoiler-free Summary: In 2154, Earth is overpopulated, poor, and in ruin. Floating somewhere between Earth and the moon is Elysium, a secure paradise inhabited by what used to be Earth’s upper class.  Once Max, a blue collar factory worker, is exposed to a lethal dose of radiation, he makes a deal with a smuggler who promises to get Max to Elysium and into one of their cure-all medical chambers.

Feel free to enjoy this aptly titled song from one of my favorite movies while you read.

Two Cents: With the NFL season fast approaching, this is an appropriate time to discuss the phenomenon known as the “sophomore slump”.  In football, it is widely believed, players who breakout as stars during their respective rookie seasons have a tendency to underwhelm the following year.  One great recent example is Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton.  During his rookie year, Newton amazed fans, and even set a plethora of rookie records.  In his sophomore campaign, though, Newton’s statistics actually declined in a variety of important categories – passing yards, completion percentage, passing touchdowns, rushing touchdowns, and more.  Loads of players have experienced similar declines.

At its core, the sophomore slump phenomenon revolves around the belief that the element of surprise is a significant factor in success.  Newton spent his whole life preparing for his first season in the NFL.  When he finally made it, all that work paid off.  (This aspect is similar to what many musicians go through with a second album.  The first album consists of all the best material the musician has written up until that point.  The second mostly consists of material form a span of a year or two.  Consider Alanis Morissette’s career after Jagged Little Pill.)  However, during his second season, once his opponents knew what to expect from him, Newton had to spend much of his time learning new ways to complete old tasks.  Performance builds both high expectations and heightened resistance.

That concludes my unnecessarily wordy tangent.

When Neill Blomkamp directed District 9, his first feature-length film, he was, for all intents and purposes, a complete nobody.  Lucky for him, he had two aces in the hole – a whopping spoonful of talent and a rich, influential PR department in the form of Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson.  While no one expected much from the South African whiz kid, Blomkamp directed (and co-wrote) one of the most critically acclaimed sci-fi films in recent memory (90/89/79 on Rotten Tomatoes, for what it’s worth).  He both raised the bar for original sci-fi entertainment and brought in over $210,000,000 in worldwide ticket sales, all without a single famous actor.  Needless to say, a lot was expected from Blomkamp’s second feature film, Elysium.

With megastars like Matt Damon and Jodie Foster along for the ride, Elysium certainly has more of a Hollywood feel than did District 9.  Unfortunately, Hollywood has a spotty record when it comes to making things better.  Damon is good, but not great.  We’ve seen so many great performances from him in the past, and this time he seems to let the special effects do most of the talking.  Jodie Foster is terrible as Elysium’s defense minister.  Her performance is nearly as uncomfortable as her rambling Golden Globes Awards speech.  Supporting roles from William Fichtner and Diego Luna are somewhat wasted and underwhelming.

Sharlto Copley shines as military contractor Kruger, even though he feels a bit scrawny for the macho role.  The surprise of the cast is Wagner Moura, who plays Spider, the smuggler.  Moura’s gravely voice and perfected limp contribute to a complex and admirable character who steals a number of scenes.

Elysium is such a blatant Occupy Wall Street homage that Blomkamp loses sight of his (presumed) goal of telling an original story.  There’s not enough development of the two worlds – Earth and Elysium.  Blomkamp seems to assume that the viewer “gets it”, as if he can simply say, “There are poor people and there are rich people; let’s move on”.  This story could have benefitted greatly from a deeper dive into how the 99% and the 1% are actually living in 2154.  In addition, that development should have included an explanation as to why the rich are keeping their medical advances from the poor.  They’ve already created their own planet; do they really need a monopoly on medicine?  There are some plot holes, as well.

The good news about most sophomore slumps is that they are just that, slumps.  There’s no reason to think Blomkamp’s third movie, Chappie, won’t be a gem.  He’s still got loads of talent, and, with Elysium under his belt, he’ll likely have a much better handle on building a movie Hollywood style, the second time around.  Heck, in two weeks, I might even pick Cam Newton for my fantasy team.

Should I/Shouldn’t I: Don’t get me wrong.  Elysium is a good movie.  It’s got a decent plot, great visual effects, and, generally, solid performances.  It just won’t blow you away like District 9 did (I hope you’ve seen it).  It’s still exciting to see some original sci-fi material making it onto the silver screen.  Some of the sci-fi reboots in recent years have been pretty impressive, but the genre is in desperate need of an influx of new blood.  Blomkamp is certainly talented enough to provide that infusion, but Elysium probably won’t get much mention in his lifetime achievement award speech.  

Sundae Rating: Two scoops

The Lone Ranger

lone ranger

Director: Gore Verbinski

Writer: Justin Haythe, Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio

Based On: Radio show (The Lone Ranger) written by Fran Striker

Starring: Johnny Depp, Armie Hammer, Tom Wilkinson, William Fichtner

Tomatometer: 25/11/68 (all critics, top critics, audience)

Spoiler-free Summary: John Reid joins his brother, Dan, and a group of Texas Rangers on a manhunt for outlaw Butch Cavendish.  After Cavendish’s gang kills the group of Rangers, John, the lone survivor, teams up with a wise (possibly insane) Native American and becomes a vigilante.

Two Cents: Remember when Michael Jordan played for the Washington Wizards?  How about when Madonna performed at halftime of Super Bowl XLVI?  Few things are more uncomfortable than watching a former legend attempt to relive the glory days, only to fail miserably.  Okay, Jordan was still pretty good with the Wizards, but you get the point.

Gore Verbinski, Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio, and Johnny Depp once joined forces to create one of my favorite films of all time – Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl.  Not only was the first Pirates movie intelligent, funny, action-packed, and original, it was completely unexpected.  Verbeinski hadn’t yet directed a mega-budget blockbuster, Elliott and Rossio had mostly worked on animated features, and Depp hadn’t played such a unique and transformation-necessitating character since Edward Scissorhands, 13 years earlier.  No one knew what to expect from the movie, and no one could have predicted that a Bruckheimer/Disney production would lead to an Oscar nomination for a vulgar, yet lovable, pirate.  After three more Pirates movies, however, the world knows what to expect from this quartet (sextet, if you count Bruckheimer and Disney as part of the team, as you should).

When this band gets together, we know there’s going to be inventive action, a healthy dose of Deppian weirdness, and a couple of long hours in between.  I love the Pirates movies, and I even love the Oscar-nominated Rango, another Verbinski/Depp project that was surprisingly fantastic.  Still, even I have to admit that the character development, plot twists, and witty dialogue that made those movies so entertaining have been on a steady decline since 2003.

Sadly, The Lone Ranger is the most glaring proof, to date, that this team of former all-stars is grasping at straws.  There’s some of inventive action involving horses and trains, but it works only as bookends to an otherwise dull story.  Depp’s Tonto is more awkward than funny, the dialogue is atrocious, and the other characters are barely one-dimensional.  The crime of wasting Tom Wilkinson, Barry Pepper, and Depp on such worthless roles should be punishable by 5-10 years of watching this movie play on a loop.  The one bright(ish) spot was a dark and creepy performance by William Fichtner, which only seems more impressive when considering the overwhelming ineptitude surrounding him.

Armie Hammer.  Armie freaking Hammer.

Hey, Johnny, it’s Jerry.  Good news.  We picked a Lone Ranger.  And, we only had to go to the 46th name on the list.

Is this a joke?  I admit I’m not very familiar with the Lone Ranger radio show or television program, but there’s no way George Seaton, Earle Graser, Brace Beemer, and Clayton Moore were this vapid.  If Verbinski had asked Depp to hold a broomstick with a mask stapled to it, it would have put Hammer to shame.  Note to casting directors: When searching for a talented actor who can do a legendary role justice, carry a two-hour, franchise-launching blockbuster, and successfully share a screen with Johnny Depp, your best bet is to steer clear of someone who got his start on Gossip Girl.  Do you remember who starred opposite Depp in the Pirates movies?  That’s right, Geoffrey Rush, a man who is one Grammy away from becoming the world’s twelfth EGOT winner.  There’s got to be someone somewhere in the middle.

I am a huge fan of most of the key players here, and that’s precisely why this flop hurts so much.  We can only hope the dubious (and Verbinskiless) Pirates of the Caribbean 5 (and 6) will turn this sinking ship around.

Should I/Shouldn’t I: The plot is flat, the twists are predictable, the acting is weak, the dialogue is laughable, and the action is sporadic.  If that sounds like a winning combination to you, be my guest.

Sundae Rating: Empty cup