Category Archives: Movies

Man of Steel

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manofsteel

Director: Zack Snyder

Writer: David S. Goyer, Christopher Nolan (Story)

Starring:  Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Michael Shannon, Russell Crowe

Tomatometer: 56/54/82 (all critics, top critics, audience)

Spoiler-free Summary: You already know the story.  Krypton, a planet in a distant galaxy, is on the brink of destruction.  Jor-El, a scientist, puts his son, Kal, in a spaceship and sends him to Earth.  Kal grows up to become Clark Kent, a superhuman farm boy ostracized by his peers.  Meanwhile, General Zod, Krypton’s military chief, attempts to track down Kal, in hopes of furthering the Kryptonian race.

Two Cents: Man of Steel is nowhere near the class of Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy, but the presence of Nolan’s input is clear.  This is a dark and gritty version of a story that’s been told many times.  Cavill plays a mysterious, nomadic version of Clark Kent, not dissimilar to Christian Bale’s Bruce Wayne.  Although he spends most of the movie punching bad guys, Clark’s real battle takes place inside his head.  He struggles with the fact that Earth is not ready to accept an alien as its savior and the knowledge that he is Earth’s only hope against its enemies.  That’s pretty much the exact same conflict that Nolan weaved into his Batman movies, and it’s becoming quite common in superhero movies, in general.

As the director of 300, Snyder took cinematic violence and gore to an unprecedented level.  In Man of Steel, however, he leaves quite a bit to be desired.  The Krypton scenes are cheesy, the weapons and spacecrafts look absurd, and the fights are mostly compilations of grunts and extremely loud “thwacks”.  Everything in this film feels like a cheap knock-off of something we’ve seen in other comic book-inspired movies.  Superman’s suit is nicely updated and badassified, but even that alteration wreaks of plagiarism, as it’s just a dark gray, armor-covered version of the famous red, blue, and yellow costume.  Sound like anything else you’ve seen?

Henry Cavill does a fine job as Clark Kent, but that may have something to do with the fact that he never says anything.  The few times when Cavill starts to show some personality, he comes off as awkward.  Of course, that’s a function of the total lack of chemistry between Cavill and Amy Adams, who plays Lois Lane.  They seem uncomfortable around each other, and the mild romance between the two characters is completely forced.  Snyder works so hard to portray Clark as a modern day Jesus that the idea of various female characters seeing him as a sex symbol is rather disturbing.  Adams is a terrific actress, but for chemistry’s sake, a change of lead actresses might benefit this series, and Nolan has been known to make such a move (though, Maggie Gyllenhaal is one of the few actresses who can be considered a downgrade from Katie Holmes).

Michael Shannon is a superb bad guy.  He may be the best bad guy actor in Hollywood, right now.  His costume is a joke, but he does a fantastic job as General Zod.  This movie is greatly improved by the quality of its supporting cast.  Kevin Costner, Laurence Fishburne, Christopher Meloni, and Russell Crowe all make the most of their respective small roles.  Without such quality performances from these actors, the movie might have fallen off its rails.  Diane Lane is fine as Clark’s mother, but her character is wasted.  Snyder had a real opportunity to make Superman’s mother a strong and wise influence on her son, but Snyder left all that up to Clark’s dad, which doesn’t work out well for anyone.

Should I/Shouldn’t I: Thanks to low expectations (reviews have been mediocre, at best) and the horridness of the last Superman reboot, I was pleasantly surprised by this movie.  It’s mostly a rip-off of various predecessors, but it’s rather entertaining.  Snyder (or whomever might replace him) has a long way to go, if he hopes to make the next installment in the series a truly great superhero movie, but this is a decent start for a character who sorely needed a new look.

Sundae Rating: Two scoops

This is the End

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this is the end

Director: Evan Goldberg, Seth Rogen

Writer: Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg

Starring:  Seth Rogen, Jay Baruchel, James Franco, Craig Robinson, Jonah Hill, Danny McBride

Tomatometer: 84/82/89 (all critics, top critics, audience)

Spoiler-free Summary: Jay hates Los Angeles, but he comes to town to visit Seth, his best pal.  Although Jay is hoping to spend his vacation with Seth by his side, Seth drags him to a party at James Franco’s new house.  The party is a star-gazer’s dream, but Hollywood stars are the very people Jay tries to avoid.  Sadly, Jay gets stuck in the house, along with his rivals, as they witness the apocalypse, just outside James Franco’s front door.

Two Cents: The general rule states as follows: When greater than four, the number of famous people in a movie is inversely proportional to the quality of the movie.  In simpler terms, the more celebrities, the worse the movie.

Exhibit A: Valentine’s Day

Exhibit B: New Year’s Eve

Exhibit C: Mars Attacks!

I could go on, but you get the point.  When I saw the trailer for This is the End, I threw up in my mouth.  How could so many of my favorite comedic actors sink to such a level?  Do I really need to watch a bunch of rich, famous, lucky bastards who “made it” sit around discussing how great they are?  Hell, no!  Besides, hasn’t the world gotten over Seth Rogen by now?

Then came the reviews.  To my surprise, days before its release, This is the End was piling up rave reviews from film critics, the most pretentious naysayers on Earth!  (I don’t consider myself a film critic, as I’m not nearly qualified to be one, but you should feel free to form your own opinion about my pretentiousness.)  Obviously, I had to see what all the fuss was about.

This movie blew me away.  No joke.  I was extremely impressed.  I don’t think it was a fantastic movie, but I do commend Rogen, Goldberg, and their pals for putting together a raunchy and hilarious interpretation of the Bible’s description of Armageddon.  Not only do they poke more than enough fun at themselves, but they tear down all pretenses about Hollywood, in general.  Although many of the characters are exaggerated (or completely falsified) versions of the actors playing them, the filmmakers make it crystal clear that they are truthfully depicting the young Hollywood lifestyle.  It’s a douchebag-infested swamp of undeservedly inflated egos, faux friendship, and debauchery, and it will be Satan’s first stop when he does destroy humanity.  Still, it’s pretty darn fun.

As much as I dislike his acting (although, I loved him in The 40-Year-Old Virgin), I greatly admire Seth Rogen as a writer.  He possesses the remarkable ability to write scenes that are simultaneously vulgar, funny, and heartfelt.  He knows who his friends are, and he knows their skills, bringing out the best of each one in every single scene.  His obsession with abnormally gigantic penises (which first surfaced in Superbad) is something he should share with a therapist, but it is still funny.  (Next time, it probably won’t be.)

Of the main cast, James Franco has compiled the most impressive résumé.  However, he seems most comfortable when surrounded by this crew.  He’s definitely here for the experience, and not for the paycheck.  Jonah Hill has followed in Franco’s footsteps, in some ways, even notching an Oscar nomination for his work in Moneyball.  He’s got plenty of skill, but he’s the least interesting character in this film.  Normally the one on whom a film relies for comic relief, here, Hill pales in comparison to Danny McBride.  One of the more vulgar actors working these days, McBride is responsible for some intense laughs as an even-more-ridiculous version of his famous Kenny Powers character.  Jay Baruchel is likable, and just the right amount of irritating, as the Woody Allen of the group, and Craig Robinson’s clean-ish comedy is a much-needed chaser to offset the movie’s overall crudeness.

Altogether, Rogen and Goldberg have managed to turn one of the most debated portions of the Bible into a bona fide comedic revelation, while still delivering a powerful message.  The cast is superb, and the cameos only add to it.  Rogen and Goldberg’s shared ability to control the cast, focus on plot, and avoid getting carried away with improvised bits is staggering.  Most of all, their description of heaven is precisely in line with what I’ve always hoped the real thing would be.

Of course, rules are made to be broken, and this ensemble cast delivered when I doubted them.  However, let’s hope no other groups of Hollywood pals decide to follow in their footsteps.  I can’t think of many (if any) crews that possess as much talent and self-control as does this one.

Should I/Shouldn’t I: If you’ve been waiting for a legitimately good comedy to hit theaters in 2013, This is the End is a must-see.  You won’t be knocking Tommy Boy or Caddyshack off your list of all-time favorite comedies, but you’ll easily satisfy your humor quota for the week.  

Sundae Rating: Two scoops with whipped cream

The Kings of Summer

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kings of summer

Director: Jordan Vogt-Roberts

Writer: Chris Galletta

Starring:  Nick Robinson, Gabriel Basso, Moises Arias, Nick Offerman, Erin Moriarty

Tomatometer: 72/61/83 (all critics, top critics, audience)

Spoiler-free Summary: Sick of living with his miserable father, and hoping to impress his sweetheart, Kelly, Joe decides to run away from home and live in the woods.  He is joined by his best pal, Patrick, who is desperate to escape the claws of his own overbearing and unbearably annoying parents.  Somehow, Biaggio, a peculiar neighborhood kid, winds up on the team, as well.

Two Cents: Some movies are summer movies because they are released during the summer.  Others are summer movies because they celebrate the most wonderful blessing ever bestowed on a child – summer!  Not summer in terms of weather and Earth’s position in the galaxy, but summer in terms of vacation from school.  The Kings of Summer, as you may have surmised from its title, is in the latter category.

In this exquisite ode to the freedom and exploration (of nature and self) that are synonymous with summer vacation, three teenagers cause widespread panic as they courageously escape their mundane lives.  The only sad part of the movie is the fact that the main characters are so sheltered, they’ve never even heard of sleep-away camp, a modern and popular alternative to running away from home.  Sad as that may be, Joe, Patrick, and Biaggio make the most of their summer break by building a sweet “tree house” in the woods.  While living there, they encounter all the problems one might expect to befall a suburban teenager living on his own – lack of funds, lack of survival skills, and, most importantly, lack of deodorant.

Although the main characters seek freedom from their parents, that freedom is symbolic.  Not only do these kids live outside of their homes, but they live outside the pressures of teenage social life.  An athlete, a nerd, and a complete nut job become family, much like in The Breakfast Club, simply because they are together, and no one else is watching.  It’s a classic theme in teen movies, and Vogt-Roberts handles it beautifully.  I often remind myself that, were there no one on Earth but we two, Brad Pitt would consider me his best friend.

Robinson, Basso, and Arias are all solid in this film, but none stands out as a future star.  Arias is the most interesting, as he takes awkwardness to new heights, but his act probably isn’t sustainable.  Moriarty does a nice job as Joe’s love interest, but she may not end up being yours.  Nick Offerman is the real star of the movie, delivering his classic mean-spirited, dry sarcasm with incredible touch.  Megan Mullally puts her famously shrill voice to good use as Patrick’s insufferable mother.

Should I/Shouldn’t I: The Kings of Summer is the kind of movie that makes you long for your childhood.  If you’re not seduced by all the billboards and commercials hawking blockbusters this summer, find some time to see this indie.  It won’t be playing in many theaters, and it might not be out for very long, so get on your horse!

Sundae Rating: Two scoops with whipped cream

Now You See Me

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now you see me

Director: Louis Leterrier

Writer: Ed Solomon, Boaz Yakin, Edward Ricourt

Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Mark Ruffalo, Woody Harrelson, Isla Fisher, Dave Franco, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, Mélanie Laurent

Tomatometer: 47/26/75 (all critics, top critics, audience)

Spoiler-free Summary: Jesse, Woody, Isla, and Dave are all middling street magicians.  A mysterious person in a Zuckerbergian hoodie recruits the four of them to perform as a team.  After a year of preparation, the Four Horsemen open their act in Las Vegas.  For their final trick of opening night, the group magically robs a bank, setting off an FBI-led manhunt and a slew of high-profile crimes.

Two Cents: Like many who saw its trailer, I could not wait for this movie.  Boasting a stellar cast and the combination of a classic film genre (bank robbery) with another that has long been under-appreciated (magic), this movie had “summer fun” written all over it.  Sadly, those words were written with one of these.

The first half of the movie is actually quite entertaining.  Some of the tricks are extremely cool (keep telling yourself they’re not just cheap cinematography tricks), and the story moves with the pace of a Formula-1 car.  However, the movie loses steam toward the end of Act II, as it turns into a game of “Who’s playing whom?”.

Let me be the first to diagnose director Leterrier with Shyamalonosis.  Now You See Me is doomed by Leterrier’s obsession with forcing a shocking twist at the expense of the rest of his film.  Like Shyamalan almost always does, Leterrier fails miserably in his quest, completely wasting a promising build-up and decent performances from Eisenberg, Harrelson, and Ruffalo.  A twist only works when it is supported by that which comes before it, and this movie’s not-so-big twist could be easily debunked by any of the scenes that precedes it.  That’s not a twist, it’s a lie.  (Out of respect for those who have yet to see Now You See Me, I’ll refrain from saying anything that might be considered a spoiler.)  M. Night would be proud of you, Louis, but he’s probably the only one.  Even your own mother thinks you stink.

It was great to see Dave Franco in another big release.  He had a respectable role in last year’s 21 Jump Street, but he has yet to reach the notoriety of his brother James.  He is a gifted comedic actor, and I’m sure we’ll be seeing much more if him in the future.  Isla Fisher must be an awesome person to count as a friend.  She’s married to Sacha Baron Cohen, and she seems to be a ton of fun.  However, even with the world’s greatest push-up bra, she’s completely wasted in this movie.  She’s not a great actress, but she can be entertaining and funny when given the opportunity.  Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine should have saved on airfare and sent cardboard cutouts of themselves to the set.  They could not have seemed more uninterested in this movie.  Mélanie Laurent (Shosanna from Inglourious Basterds) is pretty darn close to mesmerizing, but Leterrier did not get out of her what he could or should have.

Should I/Shouldn’t I: Don’t view the title of this movie as an obligation.  Now You See Me (or, maybe, you don’t) is a fun movie, but it doesn’t nearly reach its potential.  You won’t hate it, but you’ll most likely be disappointed.  With so many blockbusters coming out this summer, you’d be better off letting this one slip through the cracks and catching it on HBO next winter.  If you forget to DVR it, feel free to save two hours and just ask me what happens at the end.

Sundae Rating: One scoop

The East

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the east

Director: Zal Batmanglij

Writer: Zal Batmanglij, Brit Marling

Starring: Brit Marling, Alexander Skarsgård, Ellen Page, Toby Kebbell, Patricia Clarkson

Tomatometer: 74/65/76 (all critics, top critics, audience)

Spoiler-free Summary: A former FBI agent, now working for a private investigation firm, attempts to infiltrate a reclusive group of eco-friendly terrorists.

Two Cents: I see a lot of movies.  I also watch a boatload of trailers.  Still, every once in a while, I am pleasantly surprised with a new release of which I had never heard.  This past weekend, I was devastated to find that critics were none too thrilled about Now You See Me, to which I was looking forward.  My backup choice, After Earth (the preview for which looked horrendous), was also getting ripped to shreds by critics.  (Note to millionaires, studios, and corporations: Do not give your money to M. Night Shyamalan.  You’ll get better returns from investing in a dating site for pet owners.)  So, I searched showtimes around the city for something I may have missed.  Sure enough, I stumbled on The East.  Lucky me.

One theme behind which any moviegoer can get is the classic David vs. Goliath struggle.  Mix in a bit of cancer, and you’ve got a winning plot.  The East takes movies like Edge of Darkness and The Rainmaker a step further.  As the movie unfolds, director Batmanglij puts the viewer inside the minds of terrorists, and actually makes the viewer agree with the terrorists.  (It’s an impressive achievement, but I doubt anything is particularly difficult for someone who has “Batman” in his name.)  All of the main characters are deep, and they are continually developed throughout the movie.  Each serves his own purpose in clarifying some of the mentalities and motivations behind terrorism and counterculture.  It’s not Homeland, but it’s got plenty of insight to offer.

Brit Marling is a rising star.  She seems to feel more comfortable in the indie world, so we might not see her in many blockbusters, but she’s definitely got skills.  Skarsgård, who will be returning as Eric Northman in True Blood in two weeks, continues to build up a noteworthy résumé.  Between Disconnect and The East, he’s already appeared in two of the better movies of the year.  Plus, he’s rumored to be playing Tarzan in an upcoming adaptation of the classic Edgar Rice Burroughs tale.  Toby Kebbell did a decent job as one of the terrorists, and I’m surprised we haven’t seen more of him.  Ellen Page is a mystery to me.  She’s such a talented actress, but she seems to be stuck in type-casting hell.  She doesn’t do many movies (whether by choice or lack thereof) and, therefore, hasn’t done much in the way of branching out.  I’m looking forward to seeing how well she performs in next year’s X-Men: Days of Future Past.  

Should I/Shouldn’t I: Summer is a busy movie season, so no one can blame you for passing up small-budget indies for big-budget blockbusters. However, if you’re only heading to the theater for superhero movies this summer, you’re cheating yourself out of some quality films.  The East is not a must-see, but it is certainly a should-see.  If you’re passionate about environmental conservation (I know one of my loyal reader’s makes his living off it), this film will force you to reevaluate (though, not necessarily change) your opinion about the line between necessary evil and plain old evil.

Sundae Rating: Two scoops with whipped cream

Fast & Furious 6

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fast 6 poster

Director: Justin Lin

Writer: Chris Morgan

Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, The Rock, Luke Evans

Tomatometer: 72/78/95 (all critics, top critics, audience)

Spoiler-free Summary: Now retired from a life of street racing and crime, Dominic Toretto’s crew is recruited, by The Rock, to help track down a new crime syndicate that bears a striking resemblance to their own.

Two Cents: Fast & Furious 6 benefitted greatly from a scheduling conflict that could have proved deadly.  Released the same day as The Hangover Part III, Fast 6 found itself in a battle for sequel supremacy.  Despite the plethora of similarities between the two movie, Fast 6 beat Part III to a bloody pulp at the box office ($117 million to $50 million) during their shared opening weekend.  It doesn’t happen often in Hollywood, but, this time, quality won out.

I know, you probably think I’m crazy for using the word “quality” to describe a Fast & Furious movie.  But, I dare you to watch this movie and ask yourself this simple question.  Yes, it’s completely unrealistic, and The Artist had more dialogue, but this movie has some of the most exhilarating action sequences I’ve ever seen, as well as some surprisingly funny comic relief from supporting characters.

Between the insanely sexy cars, Paul Walker, The Rock’s arms, Jordana Brewster, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez, Elsa Pataky, Gal Gadot, and Paul Walker, this movie has some serious eye candy.  It also has Paul Walker.  However, this movie is not all style.  There is an unexpectedly decent storyline here, and it connects nicely to the previous films in the series.  Don’t worry about the storyline too much, though, if you’re not up-to-date on the series, as the film begins with a Ferrari-fast recap of the important elements from past installments, and there isn’t much you need to know.  Boy likes girl, girl dies.  Boy likes girl, girl has scary brother.  Multiple boys and girls drive cars and steal things.  That’s pretty much it.  Not only does the movie begin with the best series recap I’ve seen in a film in a long time, it also finishes with a fantastic teaser ending (though, not quite as awesome as my favorite teaser ending of all time), promising more glorious fastness and furiousness in the future.

Should I/Shouldn’t I: If you’ve been a fan of the Fast & Furious series, then you simply must see this movie ASAP.  If you haven’t seen any of the previous installments, don’t let that stop you.  This movie is so darn fun, you don’t even have to learn the characters’ names.  If you’ve seen some of the movies, there’s no need to see them all (although, you’ll like most of them, not including Tokyo Drift), but you should probably see Fast Five, just to familiarize yourself with some of the newer characters.

Sundae Rating: Two scoops with whipped cream

The Hangover Part III

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hangover 3 poster

Director: Todd Phillips

Writer: Todd Phillips, Craig Mazin

Starring: Zach Galifianakis, Ken Jeong, Ed Helms, Bradley Cooper, John Goodman

Tomatometer: 21/19/88 (all critics, top critics, audience)

Spoiler-free Summary: Alan has gone off his meds, and he’s too much for his parents to handle.  The Wolfpack agrees to shuttle Alan to a psychiatric facility in Arizona.  On the way, the boys are attacked by a criminal mastermind in search of Mr. Chow.  In order to save (white) Doug, the Wolfpack must track down their wacky acquaintance.

Two Cents: What do all great supporting characters have in common?  The word “supporting”.  In the final (please, God) installment of the Hangover series, Todd Phillips makes the grave error of attempting to turn a supporting character into a main character.  Then, in an unprecedented move that must have been sparked by a complete loss of brain function, Phillips attempts to turn an even less significant supporting character into a main character, as well.  I deserve to be punched in the face for using the following term, but I can’t think of anything more apropos: EPIC FAIL!

In The Hangover, we were introduced to Alan, one of the most hilariously clueless characters in buddy comedy history.  Zach Galifianakis’s performance was so inventive and refreshing, it set him down a career path that has, so far, been littered with discount copies of the same exact role.  In The Hangover Part III, Alan becomes the central character and, thanks to reviews like this one, Todd Phillips has finally learned what the people on Hoarders learned long ago – too much of a good thing can really suck.  Alan’s act gets very old very quickly.  As much as I love and admire Galifianakis, fifteen minutes into the movie, I found myself doing something I normally save for my private time – begging for more Bradley Cooper.

Not only does Alan take center stage in Part III, but he’s joined in the spotlight by Ken Jeong’s eccentric and thrill-seeking criminal, Mr. Chow.  In the first installment, Chow was a welcome addition to an already-stellar roster of comedic characters.  In the second, he was the kind of friend from whom you’d like to hear a story or two, but with whom you’d never actually want to spend the time it takes to hear a story or two.  In this installment, he’s just downright unbearable.

Think about some of the great supporting characters from comedy films – Carl Spackler from Caddyshack, Les Grossman from Tropic Thunder, and Farva from Super Troopers, for example.  All these classic characters were introduced to us by directors who understand that wacky supporting performances should be used like salt.  A few shakes  of salt can make a decent meal truly wonderful, but, if you let the cap fall off, the whole dish is ruined.

From the opening sequence of the film to the last, it is painfully obvious that Phillips has run out of ideas for his beloved characters.  Funny can’t be forced, and, apparently, neither can laughter.  As hard as I tried, I did not laugh out loud a single time during this movie.  You know you’ve wasted your money (luckily, I attended a half-price showing) when the big opening joke (the one that sets the tone for the entire movie) revolves around giraffes being taller than cars.  The film ends with a teaser (as every installment in a series of movies should), suggesting the possibility of a fourth Hangover movie, but let’s hope the promotional posters are truthful and “The End” really means the end.

So long, Alan Garner.  I sincerely hope we never meet again.

Should I/Shouldn’t I: You should not.

Sundae Rating: Empty cup

Star Trek Into Darkness

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star trek

Director: J.J. Abrams

Writer: Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman, Damon Lindelof

Based On: Television series (Star Trek) by Gene Roddenberry

Starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Benedict Cumberbatch

Tomatometer: 86/78/89 (all critics, top critics, audience)

Spoiler-free Summary: Captain Kirk saves Mr. Spock’s life, breaking Starfleet protocol in the process.  Kirk gets demoted and loses his ship, the U.S.S. Enterprise.  Meanwhile, a mysterious Starfleet officer seems pretty excited about killing his colleagues.  Naturally, the only man who can save the universe is William Shatner.

Two Cents: …to boldly go where so many have gone before.

Star Trek Into Darkness is a very solid summer blockbuster – it’s got action, adventure, plot twists, and a subtitle.  What it lacks is originality.  Sure, this sequel is entertaining, but, after striking gold with his first Star Trek movie, it seems as though J.J. Abrams is running out of tricks.  One of the great things about science fiction is that it’s completely fabricated.  There’s no limit to the possibilities when it comes to characters, plot lines, locations, vehicles, gadgets, etc.  Literally (used correctly, not the way it would be used by someone who was raised by wolves), the possibilities are limitless.  So, why can’t J.J. Abrams, the crowned prince of science fiction (and Felicity, oddly enough), come up with anything new?

I understand the requisite nods to the old Star Trek series and films, but Abrams does more than nod, he practically headbutts them right in the groin, making certain elements (especially the dialogue) seem awkward and forced.  Not only that, he nods to the nods!  At one point, the forced similarity between Karl Urban’s Bones and the original character becomes so annoying that Chris Pine’s Captain Kirk points out just how annoying it is.  J.J., my dear friend, if you think it’s annoying, don’t tell everyone you think it’s annoying, just take it out.  Oh, and a punch sounds nothing like a car crash – even in space – so, cool it on the sound effects.

Benedict Cumberbatch is becoming a seriously big deal.  If you don’t recognize him, you haven’t been spending enough time in a seated position.  He was in War Horse, Atonement, and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, among others, and, personally, I was first introduced to him (along with his Star Trek costar Alice Eve) in a great film called Starter for 10.  He is, by galaxies, the best actor in Star Trek Into Darkness, and he was a fantastic choice for his character, Space Hitler.  He’ll actually be playing a similar character in the Hobbit franchise, as well.

Chris Pine, one of my favorite young stars (and my personal choice to play the lead in a screenplay I’m writing), definitely holds his own, as well.  Not only does Pine attempt to save the universe, he (along with Cumberbatch) saves this movie from being somewhat laughable.  His Kirk is the most deeply defined character, and his screen presence is undeniable.  I happen to like a lot of the other cast members in this movie, but there’s so much cheese and nostalgia (to put it nicely) that it’s difficult to figure out who’s really acting (probably no one) and who’s just doing impressions.

J.J. Abrams is definitely at the top of the sci-fi mountain in Hollywood, but I refuse to believe that he’s at the top of his game.  Considering Abrams’s history with writers Orci, Kurtzman, and Lindelof (co-creator of Lost), I expected something groundbreaking.  Hopefully, Abrams is saving his tricks for the new Star Wars movie (Abrams is actually a fan of that franchise), because there hasn’t been a good one of those in 30 years.

Should I/Shouldn’t I: It’s summer!  You should absolutely go see one of the biggest blockbusters of the year.  Star Trek Into Darkness is fun and action-packed, and you will enjoy it.  As long as you don’t expect to be beamed into a dimension where cinematic geniuses break the summer movie mold and alter the sci-fi genre as we know it, you’ll be happy you went to the theater.  However, there will be a new space movie coming out every other week this summer, so, if funds are tight, feel free to save your money for a different one.

Sundae Rating: Two scoops

The Great Gatsby

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gatsby

Director: Baz Luhrmann

Writer: Baz Luhrmann, Craig Pearce

Based On: Novel (The Great Gatsby) by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire, Carey Mulligan, Joel Edgerton

Tomatometer: 48/32/84 (all critics, top critics, audience)

Spoiler-free Summary: Nick Carraway moves to Long Island, across the bay from his cousin Daisy and her wealthy husband, Tom.  Nick’s next-door neighbor, and eventual bossom buddy, is a reclusive millionaire named Jay Gatsby.  Gatsby often throws lavish parties and spends much of his time with celebrities and politicians.  For some reason, though, Gatsby takes special interest in Daisy.

Two Cents: Baz Luhrmann can’t see the forest for the trees.

A few years ago, I had an argument with a writing partner over a screenplay on which we had been working.  He wanted the screenplay to read like a Mitch Hedberg routine – one-liner after one-liner.  Eventually, I successfully explained that he was getting caught up in the details.  The two most important elements of any movie are its story and its characters.  If you’ve got a good story, with intriguing plot points and developed characters, that story can be greatly enhanced with a well-timed joke, the perfect song, an authentic costume, or a unique camera angle.  However, it doesn’t work the other way around.  A laundry list of fancy details can’t save a weak story with insipid characters.

Baz Luhrmann has always strived to blend filmmaking with other artforms.  He’s clearly a fan of music, theater, architecture, dance, fashion, and loads of additional creative pastimes.  Unfortunately, in his re-imagining of Fitzgerald’s classic tale, Luhrmann has completely forgotten to tell the story.  He’s focused all of his energy on the artistic details of his film, almost as if he assumes his entire audience has already read the novel, letting him off the hook of bothering to retell it.  The costumes are gorgeous, the set pieces are stunning, and the artistry is top-notch (Expect a few Oscar nominations, including one for Luhrmann’s wife, costume designer Catherine Martin.), but Luhrmann has fallen far short of his (presumed) goal of making a great film.  On the other hand, if I’m mistaken, and his goal was to make an eye-popping, yet mind-numbing, waste of time, then bravo!

The cast doesn’t help Luhrmann out too much, either.  Leo is a god.  If he were a woman, he’d have Meryl Streep doing his laundry.  Although his performance as Gatsby doesn’t rank as one of his best, he clearly outshines the film’s other stars.  Joel Edgerton and Carey Mulligan seem to be trying their best, but Luhrmann spends no time at all developing their characters (some of that blame can be placed on Fitzgerald’s shoulders).  Edgerton also needs to take a lesson from Leo on pulling off an accent.  Tobey Maguire is as boring as he always is, but he throws in his signature angry face a couple of times, prompting the viewer to consider the possibility that Maguire’s friendship with DiCaprio isn’t the only reason he’s in the movie.  It probably is the only reason, but, at least, there’s a shred of doubt.

Finally, we come to Jay-Z.  Lots of hype surrounded the announcement that Hov himself would be compiling the soundtrack for Gatsby.  Luhrmann had the idea of making Gatsby’s parties seem more enticing to people who are actually alive by combining the culture of the 1920s with today’s music.  If you’re looking to mix anything with hip-hop, Jigga is a good person to have in your corner.  However, Luhrmann probably could have knocked a few million dollars off the budget, had he just handed a production assistant a note that read, “Download some Jay-Z and Beyoncé songs.”  Yes, the music is great, and the soundtrack will sell nicely (If you’re one of the six humans who has purchased a soundtrack in the last 15 years, you’ll probably buy this one, too.), but the soundtrack isn’t more front-and-center than the soundtrack in any other movie.  Some “live” performances of the songs would have gone a long way.  You got Andre 3000 to cover an Amy Winehouse song, but you didn’t put him in the movie?  The guy was born to play a ’20s entertainer!  That’s like asking Kareem Abdul-Jabbar to help you get something off the middle shelf at the supermarket.  Jay-Z may be a musical genius, but even the self-proclaimed Michael Jordan of rap couldn’t save this mess of a movie.  Thanks to Gatsby‘s scores on Rotten Tomatoes, Mr. Carter is now a member of the 40/30 club, as well.  

Should I/Shouldn’t I: If you’re curious, I understand.  However, there’s really no reason for you to see this movie.  If you download the soundtrack and flip through some still photography of the sets and costumes, you’ll get the point and you’ll save two hours.  You can spend that time reading the Cliffs Notes, instead.

Sundae Rating: One scoop

Mud

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mud poster

Director: Jeff Nichols

Writer: Jeff Nichols

Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Tye Sheridan, Jacob Lofland, Reese Witherspoon

Tomatometer: 98/97/88 (all critics, top critics, audience)

Spoiler-free Summary: Two kids from Arkansas, Ellis and Neckbone, find a boat in a tree.  As any betting man might suspect, Matthew McConaughey is living in the boat in the tree.  McConaughey is laying low as he waits for his girl, Juniper, to meet up with him, so they can run away together.  He asks the boys to help find Juniper, but some bad news may have found her, already.

Two Cents: Before I go any further, the answer to your question is, “yes”. Indeed, McConaughey takes his shirt off.  Let’s continue.

There’s a saying in Hollywood that goes something like, “One for you, one for me”.  The idea behind that saying is that an actor – a real actor, not Justin Timberlake – must shoot a movie with mass appeal (a potential blockbuster) before he can take a role in a movie about which he is truly passionate (an indie).  Otherwise, he’ll fall out of the spotlight, won’t make any money, and will lose the liberty of, sometimes, working on low-budget passion projects.  Remember when Tom Hanks starred in The Da Vinci Code?  He quickly followed that with Charlier Wilson’s War.  Brad Pitt chased Mr. and Mrs. Smith with Babel, Ocean’s Thirteen with The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, and Megamind with The Tree of Life.  Tom Cruise is the king of 14U14M.  He’s followed Mission: Impossible with Jerry Maguire, M:I-2 withVanilla Sky, Minority Report with The Last Samurai, M:I-3 with Lions for Lambs, and Tropic Thunder with Valkyrie.  Essentially, the idea is that the movies an actor does between his (or her) blockbusters prove what kind of actor he is, wants to be, or thinks he is.  Okay, you get the point.

For years, Matthew McConaughey waved a white flag and surrendered all hope for being considered a “real” actor.  From 2002 through 2009, McC starred in Reign of Fire, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Tiptoes, Sahara, Two for the Money, Failure to Launch, We Are Marshall, Fool’s Gold, Tropic Thunder, and Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.  (On some planets, 2008’s Surfer, Dude might be considered a passion project, so I’ll leave that one out.)  McC had been headed down a path of Affleckian forgetfulness.  Then, like the bearded Ben himself, McC pulled a career 180 in 2011.  Following his turn in The Lincoln Lawyer, Matt has starred in Bernie, Killer Joe, The Paperboy, Magic Mike, and Mud, all indies.  Not only has McC shown a new dedication to independent film, he even won his first Independent Spirit Award for his portrayal of Dallas in Magic Mike.  Apparently, he does believe in 14U14M, only he thought it meant one decade for you and one decade for me.  Of course, there’s still plenty of time for McC to stabilize or screw up his career trajectory, but if he continues down his current path, we can expect to see a whole new level of artistry from this formerly bald Texan.

Back to Mud. Although it technically premiered in 2012 (at the Cannes Film Festival), Mud might be my favorite film of 2013, so far.  It is the story of an unlikely friendship between Ellis, a young boy going through some difficulties at home, and Mud, a man on the run.  Both children of the Mississippi River, Ellis and Mud share an unwavering belief in the power of love.  The river is used as a strong symbol of dedication and loyalty throughout the movie.  

The acting from the two leads is simply exquisite.  McConaughey doesn’t quite reinvent himself, but he basically takes all the good things we’ve seen him do over the years and funnels them into a single performance.  Tye Sheridan, who plays Ellis (and played one of Brad Pitt’s sons in Tree of Life), does an outstanding job carrying the story from start to finish.  He and Jacob Lofland, who plays Neckbone, make yet another case for the difference between child actors and actors who happen to still be children.  Lindsay Lohan was a child actor.  Sheridan and Lofland have more talent in their earlobes than Lohan has MDMA in her entire body.

Reese Witherspoon doesn’t do anything too noteworthy, but she does do  a fine impersonation of someone who clearly has experience with being pulled over for a DUI.  The rest of the cast is very solid, as well.  Michael Shannon (who previously worked with Nichols on Shotgun Stories) is one of my favorite actors, so it was nice to see him, even in a small role.

Should I/Shouldn’t I: I’m extremely bummed about Mud being released in April, as I firmly believe it would have gotten some serious Oscar buzz as a December release.  (There’s still hope!  Best Picture winner The Hurt Locker was released in June.)  However, it is a privilege to see a quality film right before we all get beaten senseless by the impending barrage of summer blockbusters (or, “for you” films).  You should absolutely see Mud.  There’s no question about that.  If you prefer to see movies at home, there’s no need to see this one in a theater.  There are no special effects that demand a silver screen, but Jeff Nichols’s outstanding third film certainly demands your attention.  You may even stop wanting to punch Matthew McConaughey in the face.

Sundae Rating: Two scoops with whipped cream and hot fudge