Monthly Archives: April 2013

Disconnect

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disconnect

Director: Henry Alex Rubin

Writer: Andrew Stern

Starring: Jason Bateman, Hope Davis, Frank Grillo, Paula Patton, Andrea Riseborough, Alexander Skarsgård, Max Thieriot, Colin Ford, Jonah Bobo

Tomatometer: 71/71/83 (all critics, top critics, audience)

Spoiler-free Summary: People of all ages reach out to strangers over the Internet, as they struggle to connect with the people in their lives.  In one story arc, a couple of douchebag teenagers bully a third over Facebook.  In another, an estranged couple, dealing with the loss of a child, has their identity stolen.  In the final arc, a webcam model contemplates the possible ramifications for participating in a televised interview about his profession.

Two Cents: The most important lesson you can possibly learn during your time on this planet: If you receive a friend request on Facebook from a person whose profile picture shows a sexy, half-nude girl, do not confirm the friendship.  That person is neither sexy, nor a girl.  And, your organs will be sold on Craigslist.  Or, even worse, Angie’s List.

The second-most important lesson you can possibly learn during your time on this planet: Never divulge your credit card information over the Internet, unless you are purchasing goods and/or services from a merchant with who you have previously done business.  Or, in some situations, a very tempting pornography website.  Your credit card statement will be littered with payments for yachts, jewelry, ferrets, and other exotic toys.  Sadly, no, Visa doesn’t care.  In fact, you deserve to be punished for not purchasing two ferrets!  You think you’re the only one who craves companionship?!

And, finally, the third-most important lesson you can possibly learn during your time on this planet: Do not, under any circumstances, take, save, or share pictures of yourself in the nude.  You will regret it, your parents will find out, and you do not look as good as you think you do. No matter your race, creed, nationality, age, gender, socioeconomic status, or sexual preference, always – ALWAYS – send a picture of Brad Pitt, instead.

Disconnect is a timely warning about the dangers of partaking in the social media revolution without taking necessary precautions.  There are two dangers that exist online.  The first, of course, is the risk of sharing too much information, and subsequently, the inability to limit the extent to which that information is shared with other parties.  Sharing information digitally can ruin your credit, your reputation, and your future.  The second danger that lurks along ethernet cables and WiFi routers is loss of reality.  Every second you spend online is a second you are not spending with a real person (or a real cat!).  Everyone needs an escape, once in a while, but it is important to remember that there are people around you who appreciate your presence and attention more than SexxxQween69 appreciates your desperate compliments.

The script is not great (I read it about five years ago), but the cast does a great job with it.  Alexander Skarsgård continues to climb up the ranks, Frank Grillo is inching closer to becoming a household name, and Jonah Bobo makes it clear he’ll be around for a while (he barely speaks, but he turns in the film’s most impressive performance).  Rubin does an impressive job of weaving the various story arcs together, without forcing them to overlap too much.  You might find yourself blaming the characters for their carelessness and brazenness, but you’ll be rooting for them, because you’ll recognize that they’re only making your mistakes.

Should I/Shouldn’t I: Disconnect is not the universe-altering wakeup call it hopes to be, but it’s a fair representation of the dangers that exist in our social-centric world.  It’s the kind of movie that is enjoyable, but will also make you think for a few seconds, once the credits start rolling.  Don’t tear an ACL running to the theater for this one, but make sure to earmark it for VOD, especially if you’re a parent of teens or tweens.  It will help cement that “All people are horrible! Never trust your friends, or anyone else!  Eat your vegetables!” speech you’ve been giving, but it won’t be as depressing as those texting-while-driving commercials.

Sundae Rating: Two scoops

The Croods

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croods

Director: Kirk De Micco, Chris Sanders

Writer: Kirk De Micco, Chris Sanders, John Cleese (story by)

Starring: Nicolas Cage, Emma Stone, Ryan Reynolds, Catherine Keener, Cloris Leachman, Clark Duke, Chris Sanders, Randy Thom

Tomatometer: 68/70/84 (all critics, top critics, audience)

Spoiler-free Summary: The Croods live in a cave.  That is all they ever do.  When Pangea starts to split, they are forced to venture out of their cave and into the great unknown.  (The historical accuracy is questionable.)

Two Cents: There are two Hollywoods in the United States.  No, I’m not talking about Hollywood, Florida.  One Hollywood makes movies.  The other Hollywood makes animated movies.  How can the two sides of one industry be so different from each other?  Hollywood produces way too many movies and has pathetically low quality standards.  Animated Hollywood, on the other hand, produces a movie or two each month, rarely lowering its mesmerizingly high quality standards.

I’d be willing to bet two slices of really good pizza that you’ve seen a terrible movie in the last year.  But, when was the last time you saw a terrible animated movie?  The last one I hated was My Little Pony from 1986, and that’s only because I was once trampled by a pink horse with sparkly blue hair.  All I’m trying to say is that The Croods is nowhere near the top of the list of the best animated movies of the last five years, yet it is a darn good movie.

The moral of The Croods is that creativity breeds progress, and anything other than progress should be considered regression.  That was certainly a valuable lesson back when supermarkets only sold leftover mammoth carcass, and, in many respects, it still holds true today.  Just imagine how many of us would already be dead if Alexander Fleming had thought, “I think we’re all good on the medicine front”.

The cast of this movie is quite small, but each of its members does a bang up job.  (Not that any of the roles is particularly challenging.)  Nicolas Cage can be a bit of a dolt in live-action movies, but that works perfectly here, as he plays Grug, a primitive and cowardly caveman.  He’s actually good enough that you might not even notice it’s him, if you didn’t already know he’s in the movie.

Emma Stone is a rising star, and she doesn’t disappoint as Cage’s daughter, Eep.  Ryan Reynolds shines as Guy, a charismatic loner with loads of “ideas” (you’ll get it when you see it).  The cast is rounded out by Clark Duke, who plays Clark on The Office, Cloris Leachman, who is known to sip some ram’s piss every now and again, and Catherine Keener, from whom Jonah Hill once tried to purchase these.

Should I/Shouldn’t I: The Croods isn’t as funny as you want it to be, but it will make you laugh.  It’s not going to win next year’s Best Animated Feature Oscar, but it will get some consideration.  There’s nothing mind-blowing here, but you’ll definitely enjoy this movie more than you would most of the other muck currently in theaters.  In other words, walk, don’t run, to see The Croods; you’ll enjoy it, and you’ll get some exercise, too.

Sundae Rating: Two scoops

42

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42 poster

 

HAPPY JACKIE ROBINSON DAY!

Director: Brian Helgeland

Writer: Brian Helgeland

Starring: Chadwick Boseman, Harrison Ford

Tomatometer: 76/70/89 (all critics, top critics, audience)

Spoiler-free Summary: This one isn’t spoiler-free, but I don’t feel bad about it.  Branch Rickey, owner of the Brooklyn Dodgers, helps Jackie Robinson, a young athlete from California, become the first African American to play in Major League Baseball.

Two Cents: Racism is so uncool.

Obviously, Jackie Robinson’s is one of the great stories in American sports history.  As such, there wasn’t really much of a chance for this movie to disappoint.  Still, I applaud Brian Helgeland for taking on the incredible burden of telling such a monumental story.

In general, Helgeland does a wonderful job, handling Robinson’s journey with respect and admiration.  However, I am disappointed with certain aspects of the movie.

For the first hour or so, I couldn’t help but wonder why no character was saying anything inappropriate to Jackie Robinson.  Sure, there were a few stink-eyes, and a slur here or there, but there was nothing that seemed “authentic”.  I don’t want to use the word “thankfully”, so, I’ll say…Appropriately, the racism picks up, halfway through the movie.

I understand that Branch Rickey was a great man, and a champion for civil rights.  In Helgeland’s version of the story, though, Rickey is portrayed as the true hero of the story, instead of Robinson.  Unfortunately, there’s no question that it took a white man to desegregate baseball, but I don’t think it’s fair to compare Rickey’s role in  the phenomenon to Robinson’s.  After all, Rickey makes no effort (at least, during the portion of his life that is covered in this film) to desegregate the bleachers of Ebbets Field.  It just feels wrong to make a white man the hero of a black man’s experience with segregation.  To his credit, though, Helgeland does acknowledge that Rickey (and other MLB owners) had quite a bit of money to gain from desegregating baseball, thereby admitting that, in addition to being a moralist, Rickey was just your average capitalist.

One element in the Jackie Robinson saga, which I found sorely lacking in Helgeland’s film, is the most important element of all – Robinson’s legacy.  Helgeland spends only a few seconds touching on two other African Americans who joined Robinson on the Dodgers in 1948 and 1949.  At no point does Helgeland mention Willie Mays, Ken Griffey, Jr., or any of the other baseball superstars of whom we’d never have heard, had it not been for Robinson’s bravery.  A few statistics, or even a list of names, before the end credits would go a long way.

The acting in this movie is not particularly noteworthy, as Chadwick Boseman and Harrison Ford are really the only actors with a considerable amount of screen time.  Each lead actor does a good job, although, at times, Ford’s portrayal of Rickey crosses the line between acting and impersonation.

Side Note: If you love spotting actors from other movies and television shows, this film is a gold mine.

Should I/Shouldn’t I: I realize I’ve been harping on the negative, a tad, but this movie is very good.  The story is well-known, but you’ll certainly learn something knew about an incredible man and athlete.  If you’re looking for a movie with the triumph and exhilaration of Remember the Titans or Miracle, you won’t find that here, as it’s difficult to capture Robinson’s success in one victorious moment.  You will, however, be uplifted by the courageous and exemplary life of Jackie Robinson.

Sundae Rating: Two scoops with whipped cream

The Company You Keep

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company you keep

Director: Robert Redford

Writer: Lem Dobbs

Based On: Novel (The Company You Keep) by Neil Gordon

Starring: Robert Redford, Shia LaBeouf, Julie Christie, Susan Sarandon, Nick Nolte, Chris Cooper, Terrence Howard, Stanley Tucci, Richard Jenkins, Anna Kendrick, Brendan Gleeson, Brit Marling, Sam Elliott, Stephen Root, Jackie Evancho

Tomatometer: 55/53/54 (all critics, top critics, audience)

Spoiler-free Summary: There was once a war called “The Vietnam War”. Over time, legend has lost the meaning behind the name, but it was certainly coined by some highly creative thinkers.  During the war, certain groups of Americans, some peaceful and some militant, protested America’s involvement in the war.  One of those groups, Weather Underground, was responsible for a bank robbery, during which a security officer was killed.  Thirty years later, one of the two people responsible for the murder (Sarandon) turns herself in to the FBI.  A young reporter uncovers the identity of the second person responsible for the murder.  That second dude spends the remainder of the movie running away from the FBI.

Two Cents: This movie starts out with two attributes, one good and one fantastic.  The good attribute is the movie’s premise.  It has the makings of a suspenseful thriller, filled with twists, turns, and psychological warfare between professional criminals and professional criminal-catchers.  The fantastic attribute is the cast that Redford gathered for this adventure.  As you can see from the “Starring” section above, the credits for this movie read like those of a Scary Movie movie, only with talented talent.  If you are between the ages of 20 and 80 and you’re not in this movie, you either suck, or had a really important bar mitzvah to attend.  Sadly, the story doesn’t deliver on its premise, and much of the cast is wasted on small, insignificant roles.

Once Redford begins his escape from the FBI, we end up just following some guy as he runs down a checklist of somebodies that he used to know.  None of them is particularly interesting, and none contributes greatly to the story.  Furthermore, based on Redford’s lack of urgency throughout the film, it’s hard to believe that his character really cares what the others have to say.  It feels more like he’s visiting them just to say, “It’s been 30 years, old pal, but look how freaking sexy I still am!”. And, let’s be honest, Robert Redford In A Baseball Hat looks a hell of a lot like Robert Redford.

Shia LaBeouf is still trying to find his niche.  I have loved him ever since his days on Even Stevens.  In fact, years ago, I pegged him as the next Tom Hanks, only to find a Vanity Fair article, months later, in which Steve Spielberg said the exact same thing about Mr. LaBeouf.  I believe he has immense potential to become one of the great actors of this generation.  However, he seems to have hit a wall.  In this movie, he plays an eager newspaper reporter trying to uncover the mystery surrounding the bank robbery, all while staying one step ahead of the FBI.  Lucky for Shia, each person he meets is willing to spill decades-old secrets, as long as the nice reporter boy asks twice.  I remember when reporters in movies were badass because they drank bottles of Jack and beat the snot out of their sources.  Now, they’re badass because they don’t use Twitter on a regular basis.

I’ve been trying to hold my tongue, because I feel uncomfortable speaking ill of a young child.  However, my tongue refuses to be held any longer.  Jackie Evancho, you are the worst actress in the history of the world!  Bernie Lomax has more charisma than you do, and your performance is as believable as a virtuous and disease-free pornstar.  Good job on America’s Got Talent, though.  Is Nick Cannon really as down-to-Earth as he seems to be?

Although I don’t believe they were properly utilized, I will never complain about seeing Brendan Gleeson, Julie Christie, Anna Kendrick (one of my favorite young actresses), Nick Nolte (How good was he in Warrior?), Richard Jenkins, or Chris Cooper.  (Unfortunately, I can’t say I’d “never” complain about Susan Sarandon or Stanley Tucci.)  I don’t always love Terrence Howard, but there’s no bad blood between us.  Are there better (or more recognizable) character actors than Stephen Root or Sam Elliott?  You’ll recognize Root as the gay vampire from True Blood and the unfortunate soul who had his stapler stolen in Office Space.  Of course, Elliott is known as The Stranger from The Big Lebowski and the voice for Coors beer and Ram trucks.

I’ve been a fan of Redford’s directing in the past (A River Runs Through It, Quiz Show, The Legend of Bagger Vance), but he’s not exactly on a hot streak when it comes to choosing material.  Pick it up, Bobby, or people are going to assume you’re dead.

Should I/Shouldn’t I: There’s really no reason for you to see this movie. If you’re looking for a thrilling plot, you’ll be disappointed.  If you’re mesmerized by the wattage of this incredible cast, you’re better off waiting for Ocean’s 14.  If you fell in love with Jackie Evancho on AGT, she doesn’t sing (nor act, for that matter).  If you can’t get enough Robert Redford, rent The Natural, again (But, fast-forward the parts with Glenn Close.  Blech.).

Sundae Rating: One scoop

The Place Beyond the Pines

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Director: Derek Cianfrance

Writer: Derek Cianfrance, Ben Coccio, Darius Marder

Starring: Ryan Gosling, Bradley Cooper, Eva Mendez, Rose Byrne, Ray Liotta

Tomatometer: 73/63/83 (all critics, top critics, audience)

Spoiler-free Summary: Ryan Gosling is a stunt motorcyclist.  As it turns out, he’s got a son.  Hoping to get himself on a the straight and narrow, Ryan decides to start robbing banks.  Makes sense.  Unfortunately for Ryan, Bradley Cooper is a dedicated (and moral) cop with a bit of an ego.

Two Cents: It’s official.  Ryan Gosling and Bradley Cooper are the real deal.  For The Pines, they teamed up with Cianfrance, an up-and-coming director who previously worked with Gosling on Blue Valentine.  (As you may recall, Michelle Williams earned an Oscar nomination for her performance in Blue Valentine, but many were outraged over Gosling’s snub for his.)  It’s easy to see that Cianfrance has a knack for creating incredibly deep characters and making a simple story seem monumental.  I’m willing to bet an entire bag of Doritos that he’ll be nominated for a Best Director Oscar for one of his next two films.  Of course, a director is only as good as his actors allow him to be, and Derek lucked out with his cast.

Gosling may have walked directly off the set of Drive and into the role of Luke, a dark loner of a stuntman.  His blond hair doesn’t look natural, but everything else about his performance sure does.  He has the power to make the audience fall for Luke, despite the motorcyclist’s unsavory personality.  Too bad Gosling is planning to take a break from acting.

Bradley Cooper has further solidified his position at the top of my personal man-crush list.  His talent is undeniable, and he continues to make excellent career choices.  I’m sure the third installment of the Hangover trilogy will be a bit of a pothole, but it should allow Cooper to add another hot tub to his deck.  When I first heard Cooper was doing a movie called The Place Beyond the Pines, I thought it would be more like this, but I’ll get over it.

Eva Mendes is not awesome.  But, in The Pines, she ain’t half bad.  Kudos to you, Ryan’s girlfriend.  I’m still not sure why Wardrobe didn’t provide you with a brassiere, though.

Ray Liotta, one of my favorite a-hole actors, was a very wise choice for a character that was probably originally named Ray Liotta.

Rose Byrne was the weak link in the cast, but that’s not a jab at her.  She’s been cast here, at least, in part, for her face.  She’s just not on the same talent level as the other actors.

Two of the great supporting performances were turned in by Emory Cohen and Dane DeHaan.  I wasn’t previously familiar with Cohen, but DeHaan has been building a nice little résumé for himself, most notably as Andrew in last year’s Chronicle.  (Watch it.)

A couple of infants was cast in supporting roles, but I wasn’t very impressed with their work.  I don’t foresee much stardom for either baby.  One of them actually had a very off-putting arrogance about himself, as if he’s the best baby ever.  I beg to differ.  He was an average baby, at best.

Should I/Shouldn’t I: If you’ve been waiting for the first truly impressive movie of 2013, you haven’t seen Spring Breakers.  If you’re looking for a more conventional plot line, then The Place Beyond the Pines is the movie you’ve been waiting for.  No, I don’t see it getting any Oscar nominations, but, had it been released in December, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear it get some nice buzz.  It’s a simple story, but it’s got loads of heart.  You may not remember this movie two years from now, but, for a few months, you’ll be very glad you saw it.

Sundae Rating: Two scoops with whipped cream