Director: Harmony Korine

Writer: Harmony Korine

Starring: James Franco, Vanessa Hudgens, Selena Gomez, Ashley Benson, Rachel Korine

Tomatometer: 68/62/56 (all critics, top critics, audience)

Spoiler-free Summary: Four girlfriends, studying at a less-than-prestigious institution of higher education, pool their money for a spring break trip to Florida.  In order to make up for the group’s fiscal shortcomings, three of the girls rob a local restaurant.  Once in Florida, the girls party too hard, subsequently becoming involved with a visionary gangster named Alien.

Two Cents: The casting for this movie is incredible.  I don’t mean to imply that the acting is of a remarkable quality.  Obviously not – Vanessa Hudgens is in the movie.  Rather, the decision to put “Vanessa Hudgens”, “Selena Gomez”, and “Ashley Benson” on the poster contributed greatly to Harmony Korine’s success at shocking viewers with his story of a spring break vacation gone wrong.  Korine does a fantastic job of juxtaposing the carefree and insane-in-the-best-way spirit of the ideal spring break trip with the seedy, dark misadventure into which it can turn.  No doubt, many moviegoers will see the names of two Disney starlets and a Pretty Little Liars regular and assume that Spring Breakers is the Saved by the Bell: The College Years of the High School Musical franchise.  That assumption could not be further from the truth.  In fact, a group of six young girls (high school age) sat in front of me at the theater.  They were giggling with anticipation during the previews, yet left the theater en masse about 25 minutes into the feature presentation.  Sorry, girls, but this is your future.  It happened to Gabriella, and it’s going to happen to you.  Yes, your dads will be pissed, but your moms will be jealous.

Korine’s exhibition of the two sides of the spring break coin was so masterful, it actually reassured two strong feelings I’ve been experiencing for a long time:

1. It’s a damn good thing I never went on a “real” spring break vacation.

2. I am a moron for never going on a “real” spring break vacation.

For two reasons, I could not be happier with the timing of this film’s release.  Firstly, I was in Austin, last week, for the SXSW festival, but I didn’t have a chance to see one of the hyped-up Spring Breakers screenings.  Secondly, James Franco’s (a guy whom I want so badly to be awesome) street cred needed some MAJOR redemption after his worthless performance in Oz the Great and Powerful.  Thankfully, I made up for my mistake, and Franco more than made up for his.  As Alien, Franco updates his hilarious turn in Pineapple Express by adding emotional depth and a degree of menace.  Though he often brushes against the line between great acting and SNL-worthy foolishness, Franco always manages to pull himself back in time.  Not only does he steal the show (not a difficult task, considering the cast around him), but the man who can do anything proves that he will be a force in Hollywood for quite some time.  He also looks the sexiest he’s looked in years.

Let’s talk about the girls for a beat.  Vanessa Hudgens was awful, but she certainly achieved her goal of distancing herself from her mouse-eared past. Gomez was surprisingly decent.  I thought she would be terrible, but she was actually not good.  Impressive work.  Benson is the class of the group, and she may have a future in mainstream movies, but I won’t be betting my penultimate Snickers bar on that.  Rachel Korine was on the wrong side of eh, but I guess that’s to be expected, considering she’s the only member of the cast who had to jump through two noteworthy hoops to get the part – agree to multiple nude scenes and marry the director.

Should I/Shouldn’t I: The best thing about Spring Breakers is Harmony Korine’s direction.  Although the story unfolds like a choir girl’s revenge fantasy (a la Quentin Tarantino), Korine does a praiseworthy job of keeping the film gritty and entertaining.  The third-best thing about this movie is James Franco’s performance, if you like boobies.  If not, it’s the second-best. If you’re a fan of High School Musical, Wizards of Waverly Place, or Pretty Little Liars, or if you’re pissed at Justin Bieber or Zac Efron for dumping your favorite actress-dancer-singer, that shouldn’t be the reason you see this movie.  If you’re starving for the first legitimately good movie of the year, that’s a pretty fair reason to see it.

Sundae Rating: Two scoops with whipped cream